The Trial of An Eagle (What I write when I am hungry)

On a Saturday morning of last summer, Mrs. Eagle paid an impromptu visit to my farm. I was still rolling in my double bed Mazongoto when I heard a shriek and cry from my fowls. Tipson, my 3 year old dog swung into action along side Topsin, the cat. Tipson and Topsin always fight together and engage themselves in a dog-cat chase, except when the fowls raise an alarm. In the event that I have called them for food or anything that requires their attendance, they come running together slapping their tails against each other.

So upon a loud mob cry from my birds, Tipson and Topsin joined the chase as I also dashed out of my comfortable sweet morning bed. The rays of the rising sun struck my eyes to partial blindness for 3 seconds but I didn't give damn because I was on the way to arrest a thief.

So two useful pets catch up with an eagle which was just trying to have one of the hens for it's breakfast. The apprehension was finished by Topsin and who alongside Tipson came running to me upon my appearance.

I picked the large eagle from the mouth of the cat and had it caged amid protest. Oooh dear, she's female, perhaps a mother who has to feed her kids. Since she feasts on my birds, I must also feast on her.

I would up my breakfast with bell ring. Ivan is at the gate. Welcome home Ivan, I have some good news for you. Ivan and I are graduate lawyers and we normally have legal discussions that culminate into very hot arguments that we almost hit each other. Interestingly, we enjoy the arguments; food for the find we call it.

So Ivan, upon learning that I intend to slaughter the eagle and fry it before having it for supper, on the mere basis that it kills my chicken, suggests that we conduct a trial for the chicken to first ascertain whether it is guilty.

The COURT SESSION

I bought the suggestion because Ivan and I had gotten yet another opportunity to enter legal arguments and speak the hell out of our minds. Ivan chose to be the defence counsel for the Mrs. Eagle.

I sit at the judgment throne (the single seat sofa in the room adjacent to a large table, holding a farm hammer) as the justice of the Supreme Court of Prosper Farm.

I read the charges, "Mrs. Eagle is hereby accused of stealing, murdering, and eating my chicken at this farm. Does your client plead guilty or innocent"

Ivan: My Lord, before my client takes a plea, I raise two preliminary objections. One is that you can't be the prosecutor and at the same time the judge. Two is that you already have conflict of interest against my clients since you both feast on chickens. A man accused of rape can never be innocent in a court where the judge is the husband of the victim.

Me: Counsel for the defendant needs to know that I took oath before ascending to this seat (of justice) to administer justice without ill will or favor. Unless you're trying to say that you doubt my judicial etiquette in which case I would find you in contempt of court. In anycase, this is not a civil court but a criminal one. Objection overruled.

Ivan: Much Obliged my Lord.

Me: Three female hens are here to testify that this particular Mrs. Eagle is the one who previously snatched and took their young ones on different occasions. They also swear on oath that Mrs. Eagle was this morning trying to feast on one of their sisters.

In the witness dock, I also have Messrs Tipson and Topsin both of whom ran after and caught up with Mrs. Eagle.

What do you have to say counsel for the accused?

Ivan: My Lord, I seek your permission to cross examine your witnesses.

Me: Permission granted.

Ivan: Thanks My Lord. To you the 3 hens who are here to testify; it is true that Mrs. Eagle has on a couple of occasions eaten your young ones. Actually assuming that in the past 2 months, Mrs. Eagle has surfaced 4 times, each of which he has carried a chick. But what about your tender Mr. Prosper? Every weekend, he takes away 3 of your colleagues. One he slaughters with a knife for his weekend meal, one he sends to his mother, and another he takes to church for offertory. In a month, he carries off more than 10 of your fellows who end up having their heads chopped off.

And you lazy Tipson and Topsin, today you caught Mrs. Eagle for attempting to eat up a hen yet you watch with appetite as Mr. Prosper slaughters one head every other day his girlfriend comes for a visit, and then you eat the bones and crumbs that fall off his table.

My Lord, do we have the moral authority to prosecute Mrs. Eagle who comes out everyday to look for food for her children?

Me: Having heard to well spoken defence of Counsel Ivan, and having considered all the factors at play, I hereby declare the Mrs. Eagle guilty and sentence her to death by having her neck chopped off. Her remains shall be used to compensate for the hens and chicks she has murdered.

I so order! (Fall of a hammer).

Post Trial Analysis.

"Prosper, I wonder what kind of judge you would make", said Ivan.

I replied that I would make the judge, the kind of him in _To Kill a Mocking Bird_. Convicting even when innocence is absolute.

Ivan is a man of his ground. He never minces his words. But in plain truth, I was feeling ashamed, I had lost to Ivan even when I was the judge. The Eagle deserved nothing like death. I had no moral authority to prosecute and then sentence the eagle. We were made of the same blood- the blood of predators. Atleast she was an outright predator. I was a hypocrite who seemed to care about the welfare of the birds only to wait for the day they will fall under my knife.

Ivan had come with two books; Close Range and Why the Hill is Red.

I chose the latter and we read till dinner time. We had dinner together and before he left, I told him I had a gift for him. What's the gift; The Eagle. Take it alive and choose what to do with it.

I watched the smile on his face as he released the bird into the air. Mrs. Eagle has never surfaced near my farm again.

By, 

Prosper Ahabwe 

What I write when I am hungry is a set of stories I write about real life scenarios with a shot of imagination and exaggeration to entertain my audience.

julianprosper36@gmail.com